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a Love letter to my soft, tired body

i have yet to share the full extent of my history with body and food issues, and my recent acknowledgement that i had developed an eating disorder (see previous post), but today i had a conversation with myself (below) that i feel i want to share in the mean time. it's something i am hoping will encourage another heart whose bruises feel similar to mine. in all honesty, i have been desperate to get out of the mental/emotional slump i am currently in. the healing process can sometimes feel like free-falling with nothing and no one to hold on to. but that isn't the Truth, so today i spoke to my home and we reminded each other Who we belong to. and so onward i go, i rise again, and take the next baby step into self-forgiveness


liar: fear

liar: hate

we have a long way to go my dear

we have a long life left together

and beloved, we won’t stay like this

this dark place of hatred is not where it ends

this is not where we stay

and this is most certainly not where we give up

but it is where we lie down and rest

we breathe deep instead

of hitting and breaking and fighting and hating

our Maker tells me secrets

i know you hear them too

Dad reminds me that it is good

that it’s true it’s true still true

this is for you, my love

listen to these words

this light will carry us

just as it has done before

many and then again

still many a time more

thank you for carrying me

for knowing often before i do

that we are beautiful and brave

a Truth i simply have to choose

i forget that you’re my friend

i feel your tender hands now

with lines and markings, stories and heart strings

we will make it home somehow

best part?

‘somehow’ is held in Creator hands

our promise: we have only to be still

letting rivers of hope wash clean the rope

that no longer binds us at the foot of the hill

"bodygarden (iii)", 2018. part of an original illustration series


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